


Gray Area

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-07
Updated: 2004-12-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin. Memory Lost, Memory Gained, but who has lost and who has gained?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I want to thank my beta..Ponga you are the best. I also want to thank my friends who have helped me with this. Kami..just for you.... NO ONE IN THIS FIC IS AN ALIEN. LoL.

* * *

I am sitting here at my desk going through the boards that the twins have once again fucked up on. I don’t know why we keep them around. Oh yea because they are related to the owner. I would fire them if I could. Hell, an infant could do better. My buzzer rings telling me my great assistant needs my attention.

“What is it Cynthia?” 

“There is an officer here. He says he needs to talk to you.” She tells me. A fucking cop, great. What the hell does he want?

“Send him in.” I answer back and stand up to greet the officer.

“Mr. Kinney?” he sticks out his hand to me. I accept it.

“Yes, What can I do for you?”

“I’m Detective Horvath. I’m with PPD and there is a problem. There was an accident with someone you know and they are asking for you. I need for you to accompany me to County General Hospital. I will explain once we get there.” He tells me

“Is it Lindsey? Is she and the baby ok?” I start to panic thinking Linds and the baby is in some kind of danger.

“Mr. Kinney, why don’t you come with me and we will explain on the way.” I head towards the door.

“I’ll meet you there in my jeep. I won’t get stuck at the hospital.” 

“That’s fine.” 

I tell Cynthia that I need the rest of the day off and that I might need more. She agrees to tell Marty. I walk out and head to the hospital following Det Horvath in the police car. Never thought I would see a day that I would have a police excort and actually happy about it. I pull out my phone and hit my speed dial two for Mikey.

“Mikey. Hospital, Now. County General. Meet me there.” Is all I say before hanging up.

I pull up into the parking area and run up to the hospital. I gt to the front desk before the Detective can make it in.

“Lindsey Peterson” I say, out of breath.

“We have noone by that name sir.” She looks at me

“She’s having a baby.” I tell her. She looks it up again shaking her head.

“Noone has come in the maturity ward in awhile sir. Are you sure it’s this hospital?”   
“Actually nurse we need Justin Taylor’s room. I’ll take him up there. I know what room.” I look at him like he’s crazy. 

“I don’t know a Justin Taylor.” He looks at me puzzled.

“He has been asking for you since he woke up. He has been telling everyone how wonderful your lives have been together. Come with me. I’ll take you to him.” As he walks down the halls I follow him, confused on why this Justin Taylor was asking for me and how he knew me.

“Detective?” I call out as we get to his door. “What happened and why is he asking for me?” 

“He was hit in the head with a baseball bat. He has been in a coma for 3 weeks. He woke up asking about you and wanting to see you. You really don’t know him?”

“No I don’t. Why does he say he knows me?” I turn around and see the doctor coming over.

“Mr. Kinney, I’m Dr. Freshman. I understand you don’t know Mr. Taylor but yet he has this whole life he talks about with you and your son Gus. He talks about how it was a rough ride but the two of you made it. How he tamed the King of Liberty Ave.” I look at him and smile at the reputation I have but I was never tamed. “ I understand where you are coming from Mr. Kinney but we have to ask you for a favor. He obviously thinks he knows you and trusts you. We ask you to please help us out with this. Talk to him as you know him. He will come around sooner or later once the swelling goes down. He is wanting to be released to your care.”

“Hell no. No fucking way am I taking some guy home that I don’t know.” I laugh at that because I always do, but they never stay there. “Look Dr. Freshman” And I laugh again at the name. “I don’t know him. I won’t take anyone home to stay with me. Call his parents.” 

“We did, his father says to just let him go out on the street. Mr. Kinney it’s important to go with him right now until he remembers on his own. We wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. Why don’t we go in and talk to him. Maybe he will not recognize you and then he will remember something else.” He opens the door and we walk in. 

I look over at the bed hearing a laugh that sent shivers down my spine and I see the most incredible blue eyes look at he and me smiles. It has got to be the most beautiful site I have ever seen. Pure Sunshine. Plus, he is a very sexy young man. If I didn’t know him then, I sure as hell want to now.

“Brian! I’m so glad you came. I missed you.” He puts his hand out to me and it’s like a dream I walk over and take it and he pulls me down and kisses me. I’m in shock at first but then I can’t help myself. His lips are so soft, I have to kiss back. We break the kiss and he smiles at me.

“Hey.” I say to him.

“Hey. I am glad you are here. These people are driving me crazy. How’s Gus?”

“Gus?”

“You’re son.”

Oh my god. He knows about the baby. The baby that hasn’t been born yet.

“He’s good. Should be here any day.”

He looks at me and I can tell he thinks he’s already here.

“Justin, Gus hasn’t been born yet.”

“OH. But I remember him. He’s so beautiful. Looks just like you.”

“OK, I won’t argue with you Sunshine.” I don’t know where that came from but I see the way he smiled at me and I know I said something.

“I missed you calling me that.” 

“You did?” I never met him, how the hell would I have called him that.

“Ya, I missed you Bri. I am glad you are here. I can’t believe this is happening to me. All I ever did to Chris was jerk him off in school. The only reason I know its him is because they told me. Brian, I want to go home.”

“Home. Which one?”

“Don’t be funny Brian. I mean the loft. HOME” 

“Mr. Taylor we told you we can’t let you go until the end of the week. We want to make sure you are in good working order. The blow messed up your motor skills and I know you draw so we need to get you back to working order.”

So he’s an artist. “Justin, do as the doctor says. He knows best.” I can’t believe I am being so ‘sweet’ to this incredibly sexy blond. Okay, I see why.

“Ok I will. Lay with me Brian. The medicine is making me drowsy.” He pulls me down next to him and I can’t believe how natural I am doing this. He is about to drift off to sleep when the door opens and Mikey walks in.

“What the hell is going on Brian? Who is this?”

“Michael, I’m trying to sleep. Would you mind yelling or whining at Brian later?” Justin tells him and Michael and I look at each other and at Justin. How the hell did he know Michael.

“Justin, I’ll be right back. I am going to go out in the hall and talk to Mikey.” He nods his head and I move out from around him. I take Mikey by the arm and go out into the hall.

“What the fuck is going on Brian? Who is that kid? How does he know my name?”

“Mikey, calm down. His name is Justin. He was hit in the head with a bat and has been talking about me and how we have this whole life together. How he knows everyone else, I don’t know. I’m as confused as you. But the doctor said if Justin has too much of a dilemma it could set him back and I for one don’t want to be the reason he goes backwards in his recovery. I don’t know how he knows, but he does. Now I am going to go back in and lay down with Justin. You have to admit, he isn’t normally my type but he is now.” I turn to walk in when Mikey grabs my arm.

“Brian you can’t go through with this. What if he’s some kind of lunatic stalker?”

“Mikey, I have had my share of those. Don’t worry. Besides, he’s gorgeous. “ I walk back in and lay down with Justin. 

For the rest of the week I would come in and see him, lay with him. Kiss him and I find myself enjoying being around him. One night we were sleeping and I wake up to having my dick sucked. I look down and I see Justin giving me a blowjob. I have to say I was shocked but at the same time, I was intrigued on how natural he was at giving it. He is very good at it. He smiles at me when he takes me all the way into his mouth, humming around my dick and I lean my head back and moan and put my hand in his hair and pull. He moves faster and before I know it, I am cumin down his throat. He drinks every last drop I offer and leans up and kisses me, letting me taste myself. It’s never been this good with anyone else. I push the thought aside. 

“Better?” He asks me.

“Much. Justin you didn’t have to do that. Not that I’m complaining.”

“I know, but it’s been awhile since I did it. I wanted you to know that I still got it.”

“That you do Sunshine.” Even though it was the first time he did it.

“I need to feel you inside me Brian.” He looks at me.

“Justin we can do that once we get home. You need to relax and rest.”

“Come on Brian, where’s your sense in adventure. You never cared before. Please Brian I need you to.”

“I don’t have any condoms” I tell him.

“ In the back pocket of my pants, hanging up.” He smiles at me and I go grab it. Hell who am I to deny him sex after such a grab blowjob. 

I go over and lay back down with him and he turns around with his back to me. I slip the condom on my cock and he pulls his gown up. I lean over kissing his neck as I take the lube and prepare him. Fuck he’s so tight. He moans. I can tell that he has never done this before.

“Justin, we don’t have to do this here.”

“I need you in me Brian. I miss it.” He begs.

After preparing him I put my cock up to his hole, as I start to push in him, he grunts. After a few minutes of just sitting there, letting him adjust we move slowly together. He feels so fucking tight. I feel like I am going to explode. Due to the fact we are in a hospital room we try to be as quiet as we can be. I move my hand around him and stroke him off and within a few more strokes we are both cumin. He’s turns his head and kisses me to quiet the moans.

“Damn Justin, that was incredible.” I say breathless.

“It always is with us. Always feels like the first time.” I pull out of him and he turns around and take the condom off and empties the juices in it into his mouth.

“MM tastes good. I love the taste of you” Goddamn that’s hot.

He rolls over and throws the condom away and lays his head back on me. He is so close to sleep when he whispers “I love you Brian” and he is sleeping.

“I run my finger over his cut on his head and sigh. What have I gotten into? I have never felt this way with any tricks. Maybe Justin has something with this whole thing with our lives together. I kiss his forehead and he snuggles even closer to me. 

“What are you doing to me Sunshine? How the hell did I get involved so far so fast?” I sigh again as I close my eyes, dreaming of Sunshine, no not the sunshine up in the sky, but the Sunshine in my arms.

The next two days go by in a flash. I go into work long enough to take care of a few things sign some papers and then have Cynthia make sure I don’t have any meetings. Then I’m off to the hospital. I don’t know what it is about this kid, but he seems to get me in a lot of ways that even my best friend doesn’t get. We have had sex in his hospital bed a few times and each time is like the first time and he holds onto my like it was the last time in the world he will have me in him. I don’t know much about him, but I do know that it was his first time, even though he said we have done it a lot before. 

I am so damn confused about this. I find myself wanting to be around him. Mikey and the gang all are concerned about it because he is so sure that we have been together. I asked the doctor how long it might be before he remembers we weren’t and if he will be mad at me for lying to him. Shit, since when did I care about things like this.

Justin gets to go home in 2 days. He had an allergic reaction to some medicine and just want to keep him and extra day. We are both excited, scared but excited. 

“Mr. Kinney, I was told I could find you in here. There is a Lindsey asking for you. She has gone into labor. If you follow me I’ll take you to her.” Maddie the nurse said.

“Umm Justin, I have to go to her. I will be back in a bit.” I look at Justin hoping he sees I mean it.

“Ya, go to her. I know she needs you. She’s a little worried.” I just look at him and nod my head and leave.

As I am sit in the room with Lindsey and Melanie, Lindsey asks me about Justin.

“How is he doing? He seems so young. Brian are you sure it’s a good idea to take him back to the loft?”

“No I’m not sure, but something in me is telling me I need to, besides the doctor telling me that it is better for Justin to come to terms on his own.”

“Since when did the asshole of liberty care about some young boy? Not your style Brian” Mel replies.

“Mel please. Brian has his reasons. Besides, I think he’s cute.” Linds said grabbing the hand of Mel. I look at her and Mel tells me to get out that she is having the baby.

“I want him to stay Mel. Please.”

“Fine, but he better not look at your woman area.”

“I’ve had it Mel, in college. But don’t worry. I don’t plan on staying in here and watching her in pain.” I tell her and Linds gives me a look.

“Fiiine I’ll stay, but don’t ask me to do anything but hold your hand.”

“Thanks Brian.”

An hour later Linds is holding our little boy. Justin is right, he looks so much like me. How did he know? He’s so tiny. 

There is a knock on the door and the nurse opens it. “Mr. Kinney, Justin wants to know if he can come in and see how everyone is doing?” I look at Linds and she nods her head. 

“Okay, I’ll let him know.” As she walks out and shuts the door.

“Mel I need some ginger ale, can you please get me some?” Linds asks her.

“Sure baby, I’ll be right back.” 

“Linds, I need a favor. I know that I didn’t want to do this, but as a favor, I need to know what you plan on calling him.”

“Well Mel wants Abraham but I don’t like that.” I remember Justin telling me that Mel wanted to call him that but Lindsey liked Gus. I smile at the thought.

“How about Gus? He wouldn’t last a day in school with a name like Abraham” I say.

“ I like that. Gus it is. Brian, why do you want Gus?”

“It is what Justin said to me. That we have a son named Gus and that he thought he was already born. He seems upset that things aren’t like he thought, but that he knows everyone.”

“Ok, it is freaky, but I guess Gus is okay.”

“He said the same thing.” I laugh at that as Mel and Justin walk in together.

“Justin, come meet Gus. My son.” 

“Gus?” Mel asks.

“Ya, is that okay?” Linds looks at her.

“Ya its fine.”

Justin comes over and looks at the baby and smiles. “Just like I remembered. And he looks just like you.” 

“I guess he does Sunshine.” I look down at Gus and smile. “What do you think Sonnyboy? You look like your old man?” 

Mel and Linds just look at each other and smile.

Two days later Lindsey is taking Gus home and I’m taking Justin home. Mel said that we both are taking infants home but fuck her.

“Justin, you ready to get out of here?” Dr. Freshman said to him.

“Yes, very much so.” Justin smiles his sunshine smile at me.

A half-hour later we are heading home, to the loft. 

“Here we are, home sweet home.” I say opening the loft door.

“Its great to be home.” Justin goes over and sits down on the couch.

“Want a drink?” 

“Yes please. I’m going to go change into something more comfortable.” 

I guess it’s a good thing I met up with his friend Daphne and got some of his shit for here. He comes out in sweats and a T-shirt and looks so hot in them.

I hand him his water and pills as he takes them I can’t help but feel a bit of panic. I have this kid living with me now. This isn’t my style. I need to go out for awhile.

“Justin, I’m going out. You need to rest. You have my cell number. Call me if you need me.” I kiss him and he nods and I head out to meet the boys at Babylon.

“Hey boys.” 

“Hey Brian” Mikey yells and hugs me. God he’s such a drama queen sometimes.

“I got business to take care of.” I head off to find a trick and take him to the back room. I push him down on his knees as he takes my cock into his mouth my thoughts go to a certain blond. Not the one on his knees worshipping my cock. I lean my head back and soon enough I am cumin in his mouth

I push him away and start to walk away from the unsatisfied blowjob and head back out to the bar and get a Jim beam.

“Hey Brian, Looks like you aren’t the only one out tonight.” Ted tells me as I look to where he is pointing. I see my blond boy, my Sunshine. Fuck I see Justin dancing with Emmett. I can feel my temperature rise. No it’s not jealousy, it’s worry. He needs to be home resting. 

I walk out there and pull Emmett’s arms off him and he knows that I have placed claim on him, even if I don’t voice it. Emmett smiles and leans over to me.

“You want him?”

“He wants me Emmett.” I simply say.

“Brian you are so far gone that you can’t see it. Or you do but refuse to admit it.” I shriek at the thought that he’s right.

He smiles and turns to Justin. “I’m going to let you dance with your man, I am going to go get a drink baby.” As he leans over and kisses Justin on the cheek I feel my blood boil. It’s only a friendly peck but still. I don’t like anyone’s lips touching what’s mine. 

I pull Justin into me and kiss him. “What are you doing out here? You need to be home resting.” 

“I rested in the hospital. I wanted to see the gang again.

Our bodies move together on their own accord and we dance like we are one. 

“Come on, I want to go home and fuck you.” I bite his ear.

“Oh god, let’s go” Justin grabs my hand and we walk out yelling ‘later’ to the boys.

3 months later:

It’s been three months since I brought Justin here. We have had our moments, ok I have had my moments when I get pissed off because this has stopped a lot of bringing my tricks home. Justin keeps telling me that he is used to it. That he isn’t a weak little faggot. I can’t believe I am doing this. He has been doing a lot of sketching, hell he’s done a lot of me anyway. Not that I complain. Ok I do, but secretly I love it when he sketches. I love his passion for it. 

I close my eyes and just listen to the pencil on the paper. I know without opening then that he’s drawing me again. I’m his favorite subject.

I feel him take my hand. “I’m here Brian, never going to leave you. I love you. You’re boss is about to have your balls.”

What the fuck is wrong with him. He is so sensitive.

I feel at peace though. But then I get that panic feeling again. 

“I need to get ready for work.” I get up and get ready. 

“Brian, I love you, I will be here when you return.” And he kisses me. I feel the warmth and then I close my eyes.

“Ok Sunshine. What did you mean bout the boss?”

“I mean watch out for Stockwell. He’s a homophobic asshole who wants nothing more then to see all fags dead.” 

“Later” I tell him

“Later Bri.” 

As I drive into work I keep thinking about all Justin has said and all that has happened since he came into my life. And now he is talking about my new boss. Not possible for him to know all this.

“Please, Gus misses you, we all miss you.” I hear Justin’s voice. What the fuck was that about? They have no reason to miss me. I’m right here.

I get to work and Vance tells me we have a new owner. 

“Brian Kinney this is Jim Stockwell. Jim this is our highest paying and best ad man, Brian Kinney.”

I shake his hand and think about what Justin said. How did he fucking know?

“Nice to meet you Mr. Stockwell.”

“Please call me Jim.”

“And I’m Brian”

“Well Brian we have a lot to do. We need to clean up the streets and make them family friendly again.”

“How so?” I ask him.

“By cleaning up the fags off the streets. Then people will be happy to bring their kids out more.”

I feel myself getting dizzy and I need to sit down. How the fuck did Justin know about Stockwell and his intentions? Is he with him? Hell no, Justin is better then that.

“Brian, Brian. It’s ok. Just breath.” I hear Justin’s voice as I close my eyes. Trying to get my breathing and nerves back down. “I’m fine Vance, just give me a few minutes.” 

What the fuck is going on here? Am I losing my mind? No it’s Justin who’s lost it, but he knew. I have to know how.


	2. Gray Area

The parts in _Italic_ are in Brian’s head and the parts in **_Bold Italic_** is in Brian’s head but also what Justin is saying in front of him, like in unison.

I also want to thank my beta on this chapterPonga who told me it looked good enough to post as is. Mean's i'm getting a little better.lol Also thanks to the girls for helping me out when I got stuck. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. Just had to figure out how to work it out in my head.Please leave feedback.Enjoy.Kami..extra special thx to you for never getting tired of me bugging you for help.Love ya

* * *

**Brian’s POV**

I am starting to feel a little better when I wake up. I look at Vance and then over at Stockwell. I can’t fucking believe that Justin knows about this. How did he know? 

“I’m good Vance. Just got a little light headed.” I stand up and move over closer.

“So you want to clean up the streets? Is that what you said?” I look at them both. Getting my mask back up I sit behind my desk.

“Yes. I want to get rid of all the fags, I mean homo’s off the street so our kids can feel good and free about walking down the street.” I feel a twitch in my head.

“Well I am here to help you with your ad. Not clean up the Pitts.” I simply tell him

“I heard you are the best man for the job.” 

“Well he is. He is top notch.” Vance agrees with him as they continue talking. The meeting went to long for me but in all reality it only lasted two hours.

I can hear Justin’s voice in my head. _“Brian, don’t worry about him. He is an asshole. He can’t hurt you. Just calm down.”_ Where the fuck did that thought come from?

I shake the feeling of deju ve’ and head home. I seem to be tired a lot lately. Before I know it I’m back at home with Justin beside me. _“I know it’s been a long day. Let’s just relax”_ I nod my head and he takes my hand and leads me to the couch. I love when he just holds me. Odd isn’t it. I freaked out when I brought him home, and I still freak out but right now, it’s very nice and comforting to have him here.

I hug and kiss him. “Thanks Justin.” I whisper to him. 

“Anything for you Brian” He smiles that Sunshine smile and I know that he is telling the truth.

“So how was work? Meet the new asshole, Stockwell?” 

“Yes I did and I have to say, you freak the shit out of me Justin. You know way to much on this.”

“I told you, _it’s all a matter of knowing_. He doesn’t matter. _Stay true to yourself.”_ I just nod my head before closing my eyes. Willing sleep to take me to La-la land. 

 

The next day I get up and find myself alone in the bed. I feel cold somehow. I get up and take a shower. I rub the washcloth on my face. It feels refreshing somehow. Not sure just why I am using it. I usually use one of those loofahs. They are better for the skin. I file this away for later. I wash up and head out to the kitchen where Justin is eating. I see a plate he made for me. 

I sit down to eat and look at him. He looks so sweet. He smiles at me and I feel my heart melt a little more. I never thought I would feel so comfortable with someone living here. I still freak out at times but who wouldn’t? 

“So you want me to make the posters?” Justin asks me out of the blue.

“What are you talking about?”

“About Stockwell closing the backroom. I will make the posters that will help you bring him down.”

“Close the backroom? What the fuck?”

“Brian, Stockwell is a homophobic asshole who is shutting down the backroom because he finds it gross that we fuck there. Ya, you can have women doing men and he would say it was okay. I will help make the posters. Us working together, we will bring him down.”

_“Do you remember that Brian”_ Races through my head. I shake my head knowing Justin didn’t just say that.

“Of course, you can help. But I don’t think we will need to.” I tell him and he just looks at me funny.

“Brian Kinney, not standing up for what he believes in.” Justin knows me so well _“I was so proud of you for standing up and taking control.”_ I have got to stop drinking so much.

“Brian, Stockwell must be stopped. If we ever want to be able to go in the backroom of Babylon we have to stand up.” 

“I have to get to work.” I tell him getting up and getting dressed. I kiss him on the lips and head out the door, waving and telling him ‘later’ as I shut the door.

I get to the office to find Stockwell and Vance in my office. 

“What brings you both in here.”

“Stockwell has some amazing news.” I nod my head at them.

“Well Mr. Kinney, I have taken the Liberty by the balls so to speak.” He laughs at his own joke. “ I have shut down a frequent spot where those ‘gay’ like to have sex at. The backroom at a club called Babylon. It’s closed now. Now no one has to witness ‘them’ doing each other.” Stockwell is so fucking sure of himself.

I take a drink of my coffee and think about what Justin told me. _“Break the damn door down”_

I shake the thought out of my head. 

“Isn’t this a great start Brian. First thing of cleaning up the streets of Gay people is to shut down where they have sex. Liberty Ave will be cleaned up.” 

“Look Jim, why mess with them. They are just people. So you don’t like who they pick to pleasure their needs. What right do we have to tell them who to have sex with” 

“Brian are you telling me you are okay with gay people?” Jim asks me.

“All I am saying is that we and I mean gay and straight have a right to pick who we want to be with.”

I am getting a headache here from listening to this man.

We talk about how to clean up the ‘gay street’ and through the whole thing I just kept thinking about Justin and what he said about bringing Stockwell down and doing posters to help.

The rest of the day went by way to fucking slow. I just wanted to go home and fuck who I wanted because it is my choice and not some homophobic assholes. 

I get home to find Justin sitting on the couch, writing something. I walk over and sit next to him. Not looking at him yet.

“Okay, want to help with the posters? And how the fuck did you know?” I ask myself with my eyes closed.

_“I remember everything we have done together.”_ I open my eyes and look at him. _“And I won’t ever forget any of it.”_ But he isn’t talking. . 

“I didn’t think I said that out loud.” I tell him.

“Say what Brian? You haven’t said anything since you sat down.” I look at him with my eyebrow up.

“Okay, look, you were right, for some reason. I want you to help with the posters. What are you writing?”

“Names for the new business when you get fired for taking Stockwell down. Take a look. It will be the name of it. It’s called Kinnetik, with two N’s” he smiles widens.

“Justin, what makes you think I am going to get fired?” 

He looks at me and smiles before taking my hand and telling me, “Because I know everything about us.” Then he kisses me.

“I like the name. Two N’s. Genius.” 

“You said the same thing last time” I shake my head and lean it back. I don’t know what to think of this kid.

“Justin can we change the subject? It makes me a little freaked out when you talk about things that come true.”

“Ok. How about Ted and Emmett? They are a couple but I think they make better friends. They will break up.” I nod my head. _“And I was right about them_ , ** _just like I am right about you being okay”_** Damn my head. What is with all these fucking voices.

_“Calm down Brian. It will get better”_ I now hear Debbie’s voice and she isn’t in the fucking loft. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Brian? Are you okay?” Justin asks me.

“I’m not sure. I am hearing voices. Probably just need some rest. It’s been a long ass day.” I get up and move over to the bar, getting the bottle of Beam I open it and take a big swig. 

“Then why don’t you take a shower and rest. I can wash your back if you like” 

I grin at the thought. Hell why not, it is a good thing to end this fucking day.  
“Let’s go Sunshine” He smiles at me and we move to the bathroom. I stand there and watch him take his clothes off. He sees me watching and turns it into a strip tease. I love when he does that.

I move towards him and help take his clothes off, his eyes never leaving mine. After we are both undressed we hop into the shower. Justin leans my head back into the water and runs his hands through my hair. 

He kisses my neck and chest as I moan. I love the feeling of his hands in my hair, his lips on me. His cock rubbing against mine. But just as I started to enjoy it, it went away. I look at him as he slowly lowers himself to his knees. Taking me into his mouth I close my eyes. 

“Oh God Justin. I love your mouth.” He shows his appreciation of my gratitude, he moves his mouth faster, rubbing my balls with one of his hands.

I moan as he begins to use the water from the shower as lubrication and sticks a finger up me. He twirls it around inside of me before adding a second one and then a third. Never stopping his movements on my cock. Before I could protest I feel that familiar pressure and he knows it. Taken me all the way in his mouth, humming around my cock and his fingers probing inside of me I explode into his mouth.

He leans up and kisses me, letting me taste myself on his lips. _“No matter what, that part of your body also works. Just hope it beings you back faster”_ I look down at him. Did he say that or was that in my head? 

“Let’s get out and go to bed. I can help you once we get there.” 

**_“Brian that was just for you. I can wait”_** I look at him and wonder why I heard him in my head and his lips are moving. **_“I love you Brian”_**

He lays me down and cuddles into my neck. I lay there thinking that as Justin has lost his mind by thinking we were together, I’m losing my mind. Maybe he’s brainwashing me.

I still can’t get these voices away. They are usually louder at night, when I am relaxing. What is wrong with me? I haven’t been drinking, as much. Maybe I should stop. And I don’t take as many drugs, even though I feel like I am on them constantly. 

 

The next day I awake to an empty bed. Thinking it was all a dream I get up and hear someone in the kitchen. Maybe lasts night’s trick.

Walking into the kitchen I see Justin standing at the stove, headphones on and shaking his ass. Hell, it’s no trick, just Justin. Shaking his fine ass. I love that ass. I smile watching him and as he turns around he sees me. 

Jumping he drops the pan to the floor. “Fuck you scared me. You always did love watching me move my ass.” He gives me a seductive smile. Besides his ass, his smile is his other best quality. 

“You hungry?” He asks me.

“Not for food Sunshine.” I pull him into me and kiss him hard. I kiss his neck and turn him around, jerking his pants down as I reach over for a condom I sheathed my dick and prepare Justin for a meal he won’t forget. 

After preparing him I slide my dick into his tight ass. So fucking tight. I moan a deep moan **_“I love when you make that low moan. Means something is good.”_**

I stop moving and look down at his back. He pushes back into me and I forget all about that voice in my head. I swear it’s like hearing him say it here in front of me and then in another part of my brain. I shake that thought as he pushes back into me. 

“Fuck me Brian.” Who am I to deny what he wants? Who am I to deny what I want? I start to push into him again. 

I forget all the voices and fuck my blond twink that has made his way into my life. Even though he did it out of forgetting we really don’t know each other, but at the same time it’s like we have known each other forever. Brian Fucking Kinney is feeling a tad bit to good in this situation. I start to think about the circumstances that lead us here. 

Justin had awoken in the hospital demanding that he knew me. That we’ve been together for years. I got talked into bringing him back here to the loft. We have been fucking even before we left the hospital. I smile at the thought as I feel Justin pushing his ass into me and moaning. 

I push faster and deeper. I plunge my dick into his ass harder and it’s like, it’s not enough. He pushes back even farther. I reach around and just as I thought, he is as ready as I am to feel that release.

I pound him faster as I lean over his back and stroke his hard dick, using the pre cum as lube. I bite his neck.

“OH FUCK! BRIAN! I’m going to cum” the last part is said in a little voice, asking for mercy.

“Cum with me Justin.” I tell him as I let lose of my orgasm as Justin cums and clutches my dick in his ass. I feel his heartbeat as I lean on him to catch my breath. 

**_“You were always amazing”_** I just nod my head. Ignoring the one voice inside it and answering the one in front of me.

“So are you Sunshine” I kiss his back and pull out. Both of us grunt from the emptiness of the feeling of me being out of his ass.

“I am going to take a shower while you clean up this mess you made” I smile pointing around the kitchen as I walk towards the bathroom. Before I make it out of the kitchen Justin cracks my ass with the dishtowel.

“Ouch you little shit” I grab the towel as he tries to do it again and pull him into me for a kiss. 

**_“I love you Brian”_** I have to stop hearing that fucking annoying voice. Ok it’s not annoying, it’s Justin’s voice but it’s like in the back of my head. I look down at him and kiss him. 

“Get to cleaning Sunshine and I want my eggs over easy. Oh and I want sausage, not bacon. I like sausages.” I smile at him with my little ‘sausage’ joke. 

I go take my shower and as I am leaning my head back I feel the chill of cold air. Knowing what it is, or should I say who it is coming into the shower. Before I could say anything I feel my cock in a warm place. That warm place of Justin’s mouth.

 

Before I had time to object, ok I would NEVER object to Justin on his knees in from of me with my dick in his mouth. I feel that tingle and shoot down his mouth. I have never came so fast. Justin is just so fucking talented with every part of his fucking body. 

He stands up and kisses me and let’s me taste myself on his tongue. I love that taste. Not for my own pleasure, but to taste Justin.

“I’ll have your eggs and umm sausage ready when you get out.” He smiles at me and climbs out and leaves me alone again. I don’t know why but I feel colder when he isn’t around.

I head out and sit down and eat. “This is good Sunshine.” 

“Thanks” he takes a bit from his plate.

We both finish our breakfast, okay by now it’s lunch. But who cares? 

As I start to feel that empty feeling again I feel Justin wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck. I smile with my eyes close, yes Justin warms me up. It doesn’t feel the same without him around. He makes me warm and fuzzy. Okay if you tell anyone that Brian Kinney said ‘fuzzy’ I will have to hurt you. I smile at the thought and feel Justin’s hands on my face as he smiles at me.

**_“Everything will be fine Brian. I promise”_** I just smile and nod and put my head into his neck wondering what the fuck is going on in my head. I can’t figure out just why I feel like I’m losing my mind. Especially since it was Justin in the accident and not me. Brainwashing? I will have to look into that shit. But for now, I just want to take my blond back to bed for round three.


	3. Gray Area

Anything in **bold** is just in Brians head. The stuff in **_bold italic_** is being said in his head, but also in the present time.  
I would like to thank everyone for standing by me. My betas are off for the holidays so all mistakes are my own. Happy Holidays everyone.

* * *

As I wake up I find myself alone in bed. I sit up and yell for Justin. He comes in and smiles at me. **_“I’m right here Brian.”_** He tells me before handing me breakfast in bed. 

I can’t believe that I am in this whole mess because of him. I had a dream of my old life and I know that I can’t change what is going on but damn it, Justin has made my life a total hell. Ok not all of it, but a lot of it. Ok not a lot, but I do miss the old me.

“Let’s eat Baby.” He tries to hand feed me put I push him away. 

“What the fuck. Look Justin, this is getting all to commitment like and I don’t do this shit. I know that I have told you before, I mean when you first came here.” I snap at him and immediately regret my words as he moves away from me.

“Brian, chill out. I know you love me. **_Just stop with all this pushing me away. You need me just as much as I need you”_**

“And stop with this fucking mind playing game with me.” I go into the bathroom.

When I come out Justin is sitting on the couch reading the paper. I see a little bit of it ‘Local Ad man still in coma after accident’ and shake my head thinking poor son of a bitch, now I can take his clients. Shit what is wrong with me?

I lean over and kiss Justin. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. “ 

“It’s ok, I know better then to mess with you when you are like that.” He pulls me down into a kiss.

“Not usually like this. I’m just feeling more edgy then normal.” I tell him as I move to sit down next to him. I take the paper from him and skim the bold part about the ad man. “Poor son of a bitch.” I say.

“Ya he’s a great ad man and a great man. **I hope to have him back soon”** I have to look away because that mad me feel bad. And it didn’t even come out of his mouth. It was like the other times, in the back of my mind.

“I guess I should get ready for work.” I get up to go into the shower. “Brian, its Saturday. You are off today” He laughs at me.

“Oh ya. Want to join me in the bedroom then?” I ask before pulling him up with me.

“Anything for you.” I am pushed down and then Justin just rips my clothes off. “I love when you an animal” he laughs and then without warning he leans over and takes my dick into his mouth.

He just starts to stoke me and sucks me like there wasn’t a tomorrow. Before I knew it I was cumin in his mouth. He leans up and kisses me. **“Even when you don’t rise to the occasion, or get up out of bed there is always this one part that won’t let us down.”**

“God how do you do that? I want to dominate you and then you turn around and dominate me and make me cum faster then I ever thought possible.” I tell hi, catching my breath.

“I guess I just know you and your body.” He whispers to me.

He gets up and smiles. “It’s Saturday. You might not have to work, but I do have to go to the studio. You just get some much-needed rest. I love you.” He kisses me before heading to the door.

I want to say it back but I find myself just nodding to him. He walks out and the day begins as everyone would stop over. Some was in my head, I know it, but at the same time it wasn’t. It’s hard to explain.

After they left and Justin got home we ordered diner. We were sitting on the couch when there is a knock at the door. Justin opens it and pays for the food. 

We talk while we eat and Justin makes me laugh about something that has to do with school. He moves over to me and takes my hand. “I love you Brian. I know you say it’s to early and that you don’t do it, but I know you do.” He kisses me as we move into the bedroom. He doesn’t aloud me to say anything knowing that I would probably say the wrong thing.

We fuck and then it’s off to sleepy land. I awake the next morning, Sunday morning to hearing Justin in the next room with what sounds like a bunch of people. I move into the living room to find everyone there. Justin, Deb, Vic, Mikey, Ben, Hunter, Em, Ted, Mel, Linds and even baby Gus.

“Merry Christmas Brian” They all sing song to me. How the fuck is it Christmas already? I think to myself. 

They have the tree and presents. **_“We decided to bring Christmas to you asshole”_** Deb laughs and it turns out to be a great morning. 

“Justin, when did you arrange this?” I ask him.

“I didn’t, Deb did.” He smiles as he walks away. 

I walk over to Deb. “Thanks mom” I kiss her cheek. 

“Don’t thank me, it was Justin’s idea, I just made it come to life” She puts her hands in the air. 

“It’s a day of miracles Brian” Vic said from behind me. 

I sit back and watch my family interact with each other and how comfortable they are with Justin. As well as how Justin is with them. Gus seemed to have grown as well. He is on Justin’s lap, laughing and playing with a toy that he just opened. I can’t help but think of what Vic said “It’s a day of miracles” and it is because I have all this love of this wonderful family.

But just as fast as it started, it ended. I still can see Deb talking to Justin who looks at me with sad eyes. They fade into the background when I see Deb coming over to me and see Justin lay down and close his eyes.

“Baby you need to stop being a stubborn asshole. That kid needs you and so do the rest of us.” She tells me, holding my hand.

“What are you talking about?” I ask her.

“Brian it’s time.” She pats my hand again. “Quit being a fucking asshole and wake up.” I look at her like she’s crazy.

“I am awake.” But yet my voice seems distance even for me.

**_“Wake the fuck up Brian. Wake up, damn it. Justin and Gus need you. Wake up Brian. It’s Christmas. It’s time for miracles.”_** She tells me and everything is fading out. What is going on?

**“Brian, if you don’t wake the fuck up right now, I’m going to take your balls and cut them off and hang them on my wall. Your balls to the wall. Wake the fuck up Kinney.”** I feel my eyes shutting and then myself falling back. Just as I hit the floor, my eyes open and I see Deb sitting in front of me. 

“Oh my god, you woke up. Thank god. I’ll get the doctor. Sunshine. Justin wake up, he’s awake” As I look to my side I see that Justin was sleeping next to me.

“Oh my god, Brian, you are awake. Oh I love you I love you I love you” 

“What the fuck happened? Where am I” I ask Justin. I am so confused.

“Brian you have been in a coma for two weeks. You were in an accident but you are going to be ok.” Justin tells me.

The doctor and Deb come in and Justin moves just off the bed, never letting go of my hand. “What the fuck is going on?” I ask the doctor.

“Brian what is the last thing you remember?” The doctor asks me.

“Justin me and Deb in the loft. Celebrating Christmas.” I tell him.

“That’s not possible, we had Christmas here.” I look at Justin who nods.

“OK can I please get have some time with Justin if you are finished poking and prodding me?”

Deb and the doctor left and I turned to Justin, “OK lay it on me what the fuck happened?” 

“We were in a car accident and we have been trying to get you to wake up.” Justin tells me.

“A car accident? What happened?”

“We were sidetracked by someone.” He tells me.

“Justin who?” 

“My dad.” He said quietly.

“Are you okay?” I have to know.

“Ya, I had a few broken ribs from where you landed on me, trying to make sure I don’t get hurt more. Which I would have if it wasn’t for you.” He kisses me.

“I’m glad that you are okay. But Justin, I remember you were the one in the accident. You kept telling everyone we were in a relationship and we weren’t. You couldn’t remember what was going on so I took you home with me and you knew things about our lives together, like about Stockwell and the posters and a few other things. You were talking to me but half the shit didn’t make sense.” I look at him and then down to the paper. 

“Shit, hand me that” I tell him and take it from him. 

“Local Ad man still in coma after accident. This was about me?”

“Ya, when did you see it?” He looks at me.

“In my dreams I guess.” I answer him. 

“Merry Christmas Brian.” He kisses me and I pull him into me. “What about the blowjobs and fucking?” 

“Well, I sorta did do that. I didn’t want all of you to be out of it” He smiles down on me.

“Brian are you okay?” He asks me.

I think about this for a minute and how it felt to have him and what it was like before him.

I pull him into a heated kiss and he pulls away. “Sunshine as long as I have you, my life will never have a gray area again.”


End file.
